"Don't act like i didn't fight for you.
I did.
Hard, and for a long time.
So excuse me if now that were over,
I'm exhausted."
-Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)
I think on some level it still shocks me how much he can still affect me, but it doesn't matter. I woke up this morning enraged. I think how much of a shitty of a person he is still surprises me. I want to believe the best in him but i can't, he's hurt me too many times. I need to let go of this pathetic idea that he'll come back for me one day.
First of all. Who gives a shit?
Second of all. It doesn't matter, because either way my response will be the same.
"Only a Masochist could love such a Narcissist, and i don't love you."
Why would i keep pursing a friendship with a selfish prick? Why waste my time and energy on someone who seconds as a black hole? No. This is about me now, son of a bitch has had his turn for years! MY turn.
Either he's going to marry the girl he left me for (only knowing her for three days when they started dating... sounds like high-schoolers right?) or he is going to break up with her and run back to me. Regardless. I refuse to have anything to do with him ever again. He can consider himself out of my life. Even trying to just be his friend is so one-sided and still all about him. Much like our relationship.
I simply don't have energy to care anymore. I'm beat. He killed what was left of the good in me. And ultimately he ABANDONED me. He broke me. He's lucky i don't release my brothers on him.
The point of this blog, is i know you have moments like this too. Where your hate builds up, all the things you want to say.
There are two things i want you to do with this.
1. Remember this feeling and never look back. It's so much easier said then done and i guarantee one day many of you will have the opportunity to go back to him. DON'T. Never settle for someone who is not worthy of you. If he really wants to be with you he'll change, otherwise he missed the greatest thing that would have ever happened to him.
and
2. Write him a letter. Be honest, angry, say EXACTLY everything that you've ever wanted to say. Read it over. and burn it.
That's right. Burn it.
He doesn't deserve to know how much he holds over you and he never will, for all he'll know is you forgot he existed.
And when you burn it, let him go. You will never kiss him again, He will never hold you again, there is no future there for you two. Know that... and smile.
XOXO,
Alexis
Beauty Tip of the Day-
Do something for you today. It's time to pamper yourself, get the Royal Treatment you derserve. Get a Manicure, Dye your hair, Spend to much on a pair of heels, Take a bubble Bath:) ENJOY yourself because you deserve it.
And for those of you who were wondering... No. he does not read this blog, that would require him to notice somebody outside of himself.
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